I am so totally a Yank

Went to two slightly wierd and uncomfortable parties yesterday. The second was a wedding party for two regulars I don't know very well, civilised, not too exciting. The first though may well have been the crowning achievement of my six years in the US - my first where I was the only Irish person there, MY FIRST KEG! WOO!, and my first beer pong! So American I can hardly stand it y'all.


I was even hit on by some overgrown frat dude (pastel polo - from Burberry no less - popped collar and all) in the following manner.
'You're Irish? Cool, me too, my last name's O'Neill.'
'You think I'm goodlooking? I'm huge too. Huge.'
'I'm on track to make a million this year.'
I'm not kidding, these were the first three sentences this asshat spoke to me. Still at least he was speaking to me - I only knew the three guys who threw it. There were about 30 frat boys and rookie cops, and about six girlfriends. And me, apparently the only single girl there. There was only so much babysitting the hosts could do, and the girls were fine but not too friendly. The guys were mostly taken up with the beer pong league, it was early i.e. male bonding time. I left before it got late i.e. bro, are there any chicks at this thing or what time. I meant to come back after showing face at the second. Come on, I was the only girl and rookie cops - yum! Not to date maybe but there were some fine looking boys at that barbecue... However didn't eat all day as I am a moron and the margaritas I was drinking knocked me on my ass.


About frat dude - that money thing drives me nuts. I can pay my own way thank you, it is the biggest turn off when some twat tries to impress with his salary. My friend is a social worker, he's cute, funny and blah blah blah, and when women hit on him in the bar he says 90% of the time their eyes glaze over and they're on to the next victim when they realise he'll never make more than 50 thou. O'Neill there, when his words didn't make me drop my knickers immediately, asked me why Irish girls don't like American guys. We do, sweetie, we just don't like scumbags in general and YOU in particular. (Guess where he lives? UES, what a shocker.) Rather awesomely, his friend wandered over at this point and told him 'She's Irish? You're shit out of luck, dude, they don't care about money, they're all about the personality'. Hee, even his friends know he won't get laid on charm alone.